>> greg: it must be nice. >> kimberly: she is a rocker. eric? >> eric: you know how i do this at the beginning of the show. "the five"? i start doing. this someone reattribution, i check my twitter. at retribution. he said why does eric do that every time? not everybody's fans have five fingers. sorry. >> bob: that is incentiv insense on your part. class of people prosecutes people who leak classified information to the press or public. the obama administration has done their sixth prosecution, which is more than any other administration in all other administrations in history. i congratulate them for pursuing people who leak classified information.

fact check. >> andrea: beckel almanac? >> bob: no, this is fact check. factoid is correct. >> greg: you can't arrest yourself. >> bob: i congratulate the obama administration. >> kimberly: down to five seconds. thank you for wat welcome to "red eye." i'm greg gutfeld. as i am known in england, elizabeth hurley. now to andy levy for the pre game report. what is coming up on the pre game sport? >> should we stop penalizing smokers? a troubling report coming up and a bipartisan group of senators proposes sweeping immigration reform that calls for identifying people here illegally and eating them. the shocking story is straight ahead. and a family claims to find a pet tortoise missing for 30 years, but do they eat it?

stick around to find out. greg? >> thanks, andy. >> you got it. >> hungry? >> what's that? >> are you hungry? gee i had the flu for two weeks, greg. basically turned into a saltine because that's all i could eat. now all of a sudden all i think about is food. >> buck up, little man. >> i'm bucking. >> let's welcome our first guest. she is so hot she could bake a cake with her face. we welcome remi spencer. and jaime wienstein, one of the authors of the great book "the lizard king." and in thailand he is considered a coupon, my sidekick, bill schulz. >> i am a cute pon. >> shut up. and if fierce commentary was outerspace many rich men would enter him in the near future, gavin mcguinness writer for talking mag.com and street carnage.com. >> a block. the lede.

that's the first story. >> should we light a fire or let them expire? would the high cost of caring for willfully unhealthy americans, they must wrestle whether to punish them or let them parish? health care costs are $100 billion for smokers and $150 billion for the obese, yet these people still tend to die on average years earlier. in efforts to steer them to healthier habits like a soda ban is met with a backlash. why bother with penalties ? as an ap story sums up the argument, why not get off their backs and let them go on with their probably shortened lives? and as some suggest, instead of treating them when they are sick, just let them die. hearing that made this overeater sad.

>> it is amazing that andy only has one place setting at his table, so he gives his to the cat, and then andy has to sit on the toilet and eat. >> he prefers that, greg. >> it saves a lot of time. gavin, this story blows my mind. it blows my mind. >> smokers and obese people. >> the one story basically says, i quote, your freedom is likely to be someone else's harm. meaning because we now have to pay because we now socialize health care we have to pay for and you we have a say and we will let you die. it is a death panel. >> i totally agree, but i think there is a problem with libertarians where they say we shouldn't have to pay for these people. we are already paying for obese people. if you talk to any surgeon or anyone in er, and i know a lot of people watching this show are huge.

i know because i sold them t-shirts and there were a lot of double xl's fly flying off the shelves. and i have no problem with it. i am obese. >> you are fat. that's disgusting. >> the surgeon said to me it would be good for the government financially to pay for gastric bypasses and they would still be ahead because of so much work we have to do with the obese. he didn't even know how to stitch them up. he would cut them open and then the fat wouldn't adhere. this is the problem we are facing, this wall of lard, the tsunami of fatness. that is an economic problem that comes down to math. with smokers, cut the crap. there is no such thing as secondhand smoke. smoking is not hurting you. it is like motorcyclists not wearing a helmet. we spent so much fixing their brains. no you don't. they are dead. smoking is not an issue. but obese people we are already paying for them. it sounds crazy and as somebody who hates the government i have to admit i feel sick saying this, but

maybe we should -- >> disgusting. >> we are already paying for them. we are shutting down hospitals with their huge bodies! >> remi, they quoted a number of of -- this is what blew my mind. ethisists raise ethical questions, but why do they raise the ones about killing people. they are about, let's just kill them. that's the conclusion of every ethesist. overpopulation, but there is no overpopulation. >> what is the problem with letting them die? i say they all die. i don't believe that in fact. i think what is troubling about this article is that they are pinpointing two totally different groups of people and saying that based on their life choices either overeating or smoking that we should let them be singled out and take care of themselves when the truth is every single person makes reckless, irresponsible decisions in

their lives that could lead to some sort of added health care costs. it could be driving while sleeping. >> sexual pros miss cutie. hire people to have sex a lot. i am not in that group which makes me angrier at them. >> i was in that group and it wasn't expensive to spray my warts with a spray. >> oh, gavin. >> it is a problem with women voting. we have a world where everyone is going with their gut saying that seems bad so stop it. what are the numbers? people who smoke are not shutting down hospitals. i'm sorry, obese people, but are you shutting down hospitals. >> you have problem laserred in the problem, women voting. >> i have to say -- >> that is bringing up i'm reg re. >> there is a missing point that was completely lost on me. >> the emotional politics was devoid of mathematics and that was the fault of women. >> you can say it is the fault of a lot of men too.

>> women myselfed men. >> let me bring you into this. do you believe as gavin does that fat people are a burden and it should be killed. >> this is a problem as you mentioned. this is the problem of making the government more involved in health care. in japan a politician this week mentioned that one solution to their aging population is these old people should hurry up and die because they can't afford them. i guess if we will have the government involved, these decisions have to be considered. but as you mentioned, why not other things like trash talkers a the a bar? they get beat up more. those magicians who go to shows they get hurt and football players as we will discuss later. they also cause more. >> that's right, visitors to the er. we have to look at the clumsy. the crucial point of this whole debate is can you turn away the obese who made themselves huge and they say i am dying and my sores keep

bleeding. you can't turn them away. that's the beginning of the debate. >> that's the financial burden. whoa are already paying. what should we do? >> trash talkers don't go to the er. >> they are not in the er. look at the er numbers. >> what about car fatalities? speeding? are they willfully unhealthy? jaywalking, is that willfully unhealthy? smoking crack on the interstate. >> you can't drive 40 miles an hour in certain zones. we are already regulating that. how do we regulate obesity? should we regulate obesity? they are filling up er's. smokers and trash talkers, none of those people are in the line. >> only regulate it by making they can more regular. more fiber in all of our diets please. >> i hate regulation, but if we are already paying for the obese. >> i like being regular. >> what exactly are you suggesting? the government should pay for all of the morbidly obese people to have the gastric

bypass surgery? >> it is counter intuitive. itit sounds nuts, but i am a man and i am capable of counter intuitive thoughts. >> as the daughter of one of the pioneering surgeons of that procedure i can say that it is one of the most life-threatening , dangerous procedures a person can have. >> if it was 1500 pounds, it is fine. >> he would say that not every morbidly obese person is a suitable candidate for it. in fact, most aren't. >> what do we do? >> i tell you what we do. right now they are experimenting with a new surgery where the food actually comes out of you as you eat. >> isn't that pooing? >> it is like pooing except nothing is digested. they are experimenting right now where people that are really, really fat they have a tube go into their stomach and as you are eating the food goes right through and right out. they are doing this right now. >> when you animate that it

looks like a leaf blower. >> the thing is they have problems with certain kinds of food. >> wouldn't it be simpler to hire them a trainer? >> she has a tube in her stomach. >> the fact is they are showing up at er. that's what we have to start with. >> you are a horrible person. >> she making some sense. >> from bellies to borders. it is as bipartisan as it is nonpartisan. i speak of immigration reform and crazen. on monday eight senators released a plan that could offer 11 million illegal immigrants. it was a path to citizenship. the lawmakers including chuck schumer and robert men nen des and republicans john mccain and marco-arubio applied for the status. but not before the tougher security measures are in place. why senator mccain, why? >> what's going on now is

unacceptable. in reality what has been created is a defacto amnesty. we have been too content for too long to allow individuals to mow our lawn and serve our food and clean our homes and even watch our children while not affording them any of the benefits that make our country so great. >> meanwhile a new poll, fox news, shows 66% of americans agree that illegal immigrants should have a path to citizenship, but only if they meet requirements like paying back taxes, learning english and passing background checks and walking on short talk show hosts like myself. let's go live to beat box goat.

>> i actually just saw him in a brooklyn loft this weekend. it was fantastic. we partied. got a little heavy on the old -- but that's another story. jaime, what kind of lesson is this for america or for people trying to get to america or just anybody in general or maybe that wonderful actress america ferrara? >> i am for it. i think it is a good idea. all crimes need to be put on a scale. on one end you have north korea who star of -- starve its people and then you have the hamburgler who steals hamburgers. they committed a crime. >> what if the hamburgler stole 15 million hamburgers in this country right now? >> the point of the matter is you can't force them back. you cabts -- the fact of the matter, and there is not many coming over more and because of the fertility rate in mexico has dropped. you have to come and secure

the border. we live in an age of terrorism, but you have to find a way to regular lar rise. >> i know you hate this whole idea. what it does is removes the race card. this is going to help the republicans because they are no longer going to be called racist because they are introducing immigration reform. >> george w. bush tried that. he said let's open the borders. it didn't work. it just meant more illegal immigration. here is how you end illegal immigration. it is easy. they are not like the chinese who can hide in little nooks and crannies. they are a worthy adversary. the mexican illegal immigrants, all you have to do is do a little tweak. it is called attrition. it is -- make it slightly harder to hire illegals. and they run home with their tails between their legs. people go, you can't fit 15 million people in a school bus. no, i am not asking that. i am going -- >> you would be making it harder. something like that? >> slightly harder. you have a tiny find.

you can watch and they go, wait, we can't survive. who will do our work? i come from canada. we have a group of people who do our work. they are called teenagers. >> you are assuming that all of the illegals here just came over the other day and are going to come back. a lot were born at 5 and 6. they have lived here. >> 20-year-olds might stay, but out of 15 million people we can send 9 million home just by going. we have done it and it works. it is happening. >> remi is giving the shaking her head look to you which means i agree. >> i spent $10,000 getting my green card by the way. going through the visa process, why are you rewarding the cheaters and punishing those who follow the rules? >> if it happens those people go to the end of the line. they have to go to the process. >> the thing is they aren't in

a line and you are going to make it -- these standards they are doing sound pretty good. >> there is already a line. it is called following the rules. you have a bunch of visas and you pay your deuce there and you are sponsored for four years and then you get a green card and then you have citizenship. we have more legal immigrants than all o combined. what's the matter with that system? >> remi? >> well, i think it is easy to sit here and to pass judgment and to make opinions about it. i agree. but it doesn't make them right. we are talking about two different things. my family came here and they followed the rules and they worked hard to get here and to build a life in this country. so i feel very passionatly about not breaking the law and coming here illegally. but by the same token i have an immigration practice in my law firm and i can see firsthand what happened. >> the immigration lawyers like it. i see. >> what i am saying is it is different when you talk about

it in the abstract. when you meet a family who has been here for 20 years who paid taxes and who worked hard, these are not the people who should be shipped back to a place where they are either going to be at poverty level or -- >> how many immigration lawyers were here in 1975 and how many immigration lawyers are there now? it is a huge business naturalizing these people. they have this huge lobby. >> legal immigration will always -- >> yes, legal immigration will be here. >> it was weird about part of the senator's plan about forcing you to move to mexico. >> that's not going to happen. i'm glad that you have immigrant parents and i am glad they are in this country and i am glad you successfully became an immigrant in this country. i am a little thing they like to call america. we have been here since the beginning. i am more native american than your wife. so what i say should be

listened to. the fact of the matter is this is a nonissue. immigration is down big time. we are down since 2000. it has been going down since then. this is a nonissue. >> mexico has a lower fertility right now. they are not having as many children. once you have a lower fertility rate, they believe the immigration will decrease. >> look, we have entire cities that have complete amnesty. what kind of country is that? what other country in the world goes you have your own mexican congress. you have your own mexican president and you can have your own mexican laws in this amnesty town. >> obviously part is people should learn english and assimilated into society. >> tell that to california. >> okay, california, you should be -- it is the right thing to do. >> boy you have the power i have never seen. >> impressive. >> what is more impressive is

california just started learning english. >> all i am saying is you can't have a new system without having a border. you can't have a path without borders or it is not a path. it is an open field. see what i did there? >> what is that metaphor? >> it is an analogy. i don't know. anyway. >> word pictures. >> that's a good way of putting it. >> we are done? >> i am surprised. i didn't think we would get that heated on a couple of topics. >> it is a topic that they say it is too big, it is too hard. and then you say they all left when things got difficult. just tweak it and they are all gone. >> i think it has to be noted that gavin claimed he was a libertarian on the first two issues. the unlibertarian position. that's what drives me nuts. they go the only reason we are borders is to make maps more colorful. my position is i want more

borders. i think states should separate. canada should separate its provinces and america should separate its states. >> libertarian more like a fibertarian. >> you are the achilles heal. coming up, do murderers deserve a fair trial? remi spencer on why she only dates the slow ones. what would a biden presidency look like? picture something fun and then multiply it by fun. , and then make yourself a snack.

in a "60 minutes"

interview on sunday night, the president puts praise on hillary clinton calling her one of the finest u.s. secretaries of state. he wanted to say thank you publicly -- boy i screwed that up, to the departing diplomat, but he was also giving the heave-ho to little joe. they are considering a run for president in 2016, but it was hil next to bam and his next post inauguration -- or first post inauguration. i have to ask what is the date of expiration on this endorsement? >> have i to ask you what is the date -- i have to ask you what is the date of expiration on this endorsement? >> oh steve. >> come on. you are sitting here together. everybody in town is talking about it already. and it is taking place. >> steve i have to tell you you guys in the press are incorrigible. >> that means filled with

jelly. it just seems like people in a hotel lobby that then end up heading back to the hotel room for disgustingness. how is biden taking this? he was seen on the belt way earlier today. >> that guy has to be our next president. i have to say, jaime, should biden feel left out and hurt after that interview? is that a message? >> he has never had an interview with the president on "60 minutes." so he should be upset. i would hope for a biden presidency for a stimulus package. this was a softball interview, and they make this case that hillary is one of the greatest secretary of states of all time. where is the evidence of that? >> there is no evidence. that's what i call a maim.

>> have you george marshall, the marshall plan and the hen rear kissinger who helped to open china. what has hillary clinton done? no one can name that. >> remi, obama is helping hillary and not his own vp. in a way she has become monica and biden has become hillary. >> i don't think so. i don't think so. >> did you follow my logic at all? >> not at all. >> that's what obama did, and for the first time hillary is now in the spotlight. isn't that nice? >> she is retiring from the position. this is the first interview the president has ever given like this. it is not that he won't do it with biden. it is the first of its kind. in a second term we will see probably a number of interviews like this over the next couple years. i didn't see it as a glowing endorsement for her campaign in four years. i really didn't. it seemed like a respectful

differential thing to do. but i don't think it was to biden. >> all right, all right, all right, enough from you. gavin she -- no. biden, yes. can you imagine what our president -- what the united states would be like if he was president? it would be unbelievably fun. >> nothing can be worse. >> it would be fun. >> it would be uh fusing. amusing. ronald reagan was a rocket scientist. he said let the free market handle it. >> biden would be hands-off. >> biden would be as good as reagan. >> and he would be hands-off on all of the stuff that would be hands-off, and then hands on all of the wrong stuff which would be hilarious. >> this is what draffs me nuts -- drives me nuts. i hate republicans. they add golden ticket. willy con caw gave -- willy wonka gave them benghazi.

hillary clinton did an interview saying it wasn't an attack. they go -- and drop the ball and she screams at them saying why are we even talking about this? somebody can be in court you murdered a man. why are we talking about this? he is dead. i shouldn't have to defend myself. so she got away with it and the liberals are happy. she is not culpable for this lie she did where she pretended that ben benghazi was nothing to do with an attack -- it is like "fast and furious." no matter how much crap gets flung at him he teflons it off. and then they say she is wonderful and a gift from god. republicans go -- >> ever since you have become a new dad you have more energy. >> well i did a huge line of cocaine. >> you are just getting the same facts, but louder. >> bill, last word to you.

this could be the only democrat ever hoped for. isn't that enough? >> i don't know if that is a ringing endorsement. i think biden should be taking a look at this. i will tell you why. biden likes americas. likes america. what he loves is the man in the mirror. the one thing i was taken by that interview is man obama has gotten old. and man has hillary gotten old. if you were to show pictures of them before and after you have denzel washington on one side and morgan free man on the other. meryl streep at the beginning of "death becomes her" and meryl streep at the end of" death becomes her." that was the difference i saw. bidens will have one plug left by the first of the year. he does not want this to happen. >> why is she allowed in that pink dress? why are we burning effigies of her? it should be hillary clinton day. >> you said it. remember when the -- they

killed an ambassador. why is everybody talking about this? and then they got lost. she got away with it. all right. boy that must have been good stuff. do you have anymore? no, i quit years ago. >> go to red eye at fox news.com. if you have video of your animal doing anything? we might use it. still to come, the half time report with andy levy, jerk. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by chess, the game played on a checker bored and the object is to checkmate the king. thanks, chess.

we're back. let's find out if we got anything wrong so far. >> hi, greg. should we leave smokers and obese people alone? the trouble is it is picking two gro people and saying they are poor choices when everybody engages in a risky behavior leading to other people having to pay for it. what is your solution? >> i think everyone should be responsible for themselves. i do think we should have accountability when it comes to our health care and we shouldn't expect the government to take care of us. charity care should be a part of yo are daily responsibility jie. we have to get rid of obamacare. >> it is kind of too late for that. >> have i never been an

advocate for obamacare. i in every said that was a good thing. i do believe -- >> you have implied it. >> let's go to the tape. >> no, no. i do think you can't just single out people who have an eating disorder and are obese or an uh district tiff issue because of tobacco. that's not fair. >> is being obese an eating disorder? >> i have to imagine if you can't manage your diet where you are a hundred plus pounds overweight that is a disorder. >> unless you really like to eat. >> what if are you santa? he is old. jay it is a challenge. >> do you know how many movies you have to watch to be a hundred pounds overweight? three a day. >> have they done studies, gavin? >> i just did one in my head right now. >> gavin, i want to say, i hear emotion-based thoughts from males every day.

i don't think it is just women. >> we are talking about millions of people so you can find examples of men being emotional, but we know women vote with their hearts and men vote with their brains. >> i do not agree with that. >> women are just as emotional as men? >> it wasn't a woman who stood up there with little children to instruct us on why guns are bad. >> congratulations that is a great example of a man acting like a woman. but generally do you not agree that women are more emotional than men at least? >> i just don't know if you have the data to back it up. >> find me one. >> i don't know because you are screaming at me, gavin. >> find me one female politician. find me one female who has cried as much as boehner. >> that's the thing about female politicians. they have to become men. margaret thatcher was the best female politician in the world. she was the iron lady. she was a man. >> that's not fair.

>> no, but i know what he is saying. that is a danger. you say a woman can never be in charge. the woman becomes more war like. >> i just think what the two of you are doing is applying gender norms and it is sad that the two of you have old-fashioned ideas about what men should be like and women should be like. jay call me sad. >> i am the happiest sad guy in the world. >> isn't the iron lady a marvel comics character? >> the iron lady was a successful heavy metal band. >> the iron lady is a supplement i take. >> i noticed you have been hairless. >> it makes your pecks firm. >> oops there is some milk. >> come on, he's sensitive. >> gavin, i think -- here is also a problem with all of

this is -- i don't -- actually -- i'm -- i can't speak right now. i am so emotionally overcome. like you i am a libertarian, but i understand your arguments in this segment. i think they made sense. i think one of the problems is when you are talking about like you were maybe joking and maybe not mandating surgery for obese people. are you not allowed to stigma ties obese people. you can take action, but you can't stigma ties obese people. >> i was not mandating gastric bypasses. i said it makes economic sense in the long-term, mathematical sense to provide for the government to provide free gastric bypass for obese people because it actually saves them money in the long run. >> are you in favor of things like mayor bloomburg's large, sugar redrink ban? >> i know it is horrible, but i am not. >> why not?

in the long run isn't it better for us? >> it is horrible. >> you are making his head hurt. >> it is a horrible place to be. when you talk to surmingens and people in hospital and how much money is spent on obesity and it is a reversible fact that you can't turn somebody away who is in the er and the taxpayers are already paying for that. you start going, we have to do something. i can't pay for soft drinks and movie theaters. nobody eats at movie theaters. they go there once a year and have the giant drink. i don't think it is insane to do the numbers and say free gastric bypasses because it is cheaper. >> these are the easy questions to start with. eventually -- if obamacare becomes more expensive you will deal with end of life issues. is it worth it to extend a life three months, six months a year. >> and those ethical questions are happening.

right now in hospitals they are saying you are 79. you are not getting a new hip. >> my big fear is it is sort of like you start with the obese people, but then as remi says there were other activities that were risky and could cost people money. >> that is devoid of mathematics. first they came for the punks and i didn't say anything. >> even if you are serious about having these people do the gastric bypass, i am not sure where you are getting your information from where it will be cheaper on the health care industry. the seriousness of this procedure keeps most people in the hospital for an extended period of time. they have to be monitored from the rest of their lives. they can die from infection. it might have been novel or interesting idea, buts to you have any research or facts to back that up? >> you should read a booker

where they discuss a black hat. we need green hat thinking and blue hat thinking thinking and white hat thinking. it is a great book on modes of thought. saying what is not going to work is crucial. it is a very easy mo for problem solving. 10 hospitals in california closed. >> are you going to blame that on fat people? >> yes, i am blaming that on fat people. that's a fact. >> i actually have to move on. my point is i don't think it is devoid that once the government decides it can regulates -- regulate certain use of one law or a certain logic. and it will then take that logic and apply it to more and more people. >> gri. i agree. i am not talking mandatory. i am saying free gastric

bypasses makes mathematical economic sense. and that is the beauty of the male mind. we are capable of counter intuitive thoughts. >> all right. have i like four more pages, but apparently i'm out of time. >> that was just one story. >> i know. >> should we come back? >> maybe a webisode? >> up to you. why don't we take a break and discuss it. >> let's take a break. coming up, i want you to know what love is. i want you to show me. not a story, just a message that was given to me. and does he have a twitter problem sph i don't know ask him when he is done with his his pilates class.

cats are amazing breed -- oh, we are doing more half time report with andy. >> we can finish that other conversation later. >> let's proceed.

>> proceeding. immigration reform. jaime you were all for this, but what about gavin's argument? >> that's a fair argument and they are trying to address it in the legislation. understandably so. they can't become -- they have to go to the back of the line. they -- >> they are not saying you have to go back to your original country. >> that's impractical. there is no question that this is not -- it doesn't solve all of the bases. but they are trying to come up with some solution. >> gavin, jaime was saying you can't force all of the illegals to go back, and they said, yes you can. >> that's the problem. people just think of it as a hypothetical concept. >> you mean women, right? >> women. >> women don't think about it. they feel about it. >> there is a concept that they go in a giant hot air

balloon and 15 million people are going -- go back to mexico. we from tried this. it has worked great. it is called attrition. it works just fine. all you have to do is put a tiny bit of pressure. for every mi croab of -- microbe of pressure on somebody who hires illegal, they go back. they are not excited about being here and a lot of them miss their families. >> i am just not sure -- i get what you are saying, but i am not sure if attrition is the same thing as saying make them go back. >> clearly there is no the a monolith. some are not happy to be here. >> it is already happening. >> even in 9/11 with the arab population, thousands went back but not because they experienced discomfort, but there was the threat of discomfort. that's how easy it is to regulate. >> are you insin insinuating we have more terrorist attacks? >> what? i am saying all you need is this tension and people will

go back in droves. they sit in their white neighborhoods and say this is impossible. i couldn't imagine my nanny being gone. >> but on the other hand the whole population came here yesterday. some people came here in the last couple years. a lot of people have been here for a longtime. >> they want to go back to the dominican republic with their kids. it is already happening right now. stop pretending things are hypothetical. >> some people are going back. you want me to throw a number out? 10 million would be easy to send back. >> what are you saying? we don't need immigration reform? >> give them amnesty. dot these i's and cross these t's. >> he is sending them back. it is irrelevant unless you have a border. the most important thing is to

create a border. once you have a border then you can have a path to citizenship. >> apparently that's the idea behind this plan. none of the path of citizenship can start until the border is secure. >> once again people talking about the plan doesn't know meks n cays. all they know is their nanny. if you had -- driver's licenses have to be valid. hundreds of thousands would leave. that's the sound it would make. >> have you ever thought about getting sound affects and technology? >> i did not. >> but i was in the running. >> i want to address one thing. you said the reform will help the republican party which is a common argument. i am not so sure and here is why. i don't know if you remember what admiral painter said in the hunt for red october. he said russians don't take a dump son, without a plan. that's how i feel about

senator charles schumer. senator charles schumer doesn't get up there and say something bipartisan if it will help the other party. >> that's right. the democratic party has evolved to a much more efficient republican killing machine. they are very good at it. i think you are right. there might be something buried in this plan that will blowup in republican faces. >> may i, greg? andy, are you wrong. i shared many a bathroom with senator schumer. he takes many dumps without a plan. >> he doesn't even have his iphone. >> i do have the facts. >> before i go, my favorite article on this whole thing comes from buzz feed. the headline is, senators championing immigration reform have no answer for lgbt. >> all nine of them. >> all right, time to take a break. when we come back we will talk about something, we will have time. and buy "the joy of hate" the best seller.

order it from amazon. i went to barnes and nobel and i couldn't find it. i hate you barnes and nobel. for an autographed copy go to g gutfeld.com.

he wasn't missing or dead, just living overhead. the brazilian spheam -- family

found a pet tortoise that was missing 30 years ago. the entire time she was in an upstairs store room. the family thought manuela escaped through a door in 1982, but earlier this month when the father died they cleaned up the attic with the junk and the turtle was discovered in a box with an old record player. the reptile could apparently go up to three years without heating and the family thinks she may have survived like our own pill -- bill schulz, by eating termites. way don't have a picture of this guy? >> couldn't get a released. >> draw a picture of a turtle right here. this is the turtle. gavin, do you buy this story or is this a bizarre scam where they put the turtle in there to be in the news? >> i totally buy the story. turtles are tau nay shoes and can live half a century and it makes me dislike them quite frankly. how can you be alive for 400 years and not know anything?

if i lived in japan for a year i would have my shoes off when i went in the house and writing with my little pen. i know their brains are smaller, but even proportionally 400 years and you are still just going -- oh grass. get a grip. >> thoughts? >> maybe if we started walking around going dash dwash -- dash and ate grass we could live to be 500 years old. >> for somebody who is dumb you are very biased ssments. >> come on now. you are dumb and i will tell you why. what is the name of this turtle? manuela. your theory is manuela would go across the border because they changed the parameter. manuela didn't go across the border and she stayed in america. >> i don't care how small your brain is. if you are in a closet for 30 years and somebody opens it up you should go, hello. >> how about why did you do

this? >> hers of all it is hola. >> well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in. >> bill brought up a good point. i want a pathway to citizenship for this turtle. gavin can have it sent to mexico. >> and in the closet for 30 years, clearly an lgbt. >> and we haven't solved manuel's problems. >> i will not rest until that turtle is married to another turtle. it could be a dog. >> that's too far. >> no, it is not. >> you have to draw the line, greg. >> they can't get their legs there. >> we will close things out with a post game wrap up. fox news.com/red eye.